This is going to be another tough post to write and I think it may be my first that becomes a "work in progress." It's about religion, both organized and spiritual. And at the end of the process, I may have a question to ask the reader. I may not. I don't know where I'm taking this but there's this thought that keeps coming back...
Why my sin?
Why is it that I'm the one that was shamed from the pulpit growing up? Why is my sin so much worse than yours? How is it that churches freely protest me and my life while ignoring members of their own congregation. Biblically speaking, there are multiple sins listed. Murder, adultery, jealousy, divorce. Bacon.
But I'm singled out. Because I fell in love with a man? Or because my being Christian and loving a man demolishes your faith in the Bible? Because quite frankly, my faith took a few stumbles when I came to terms with it. There are so many bigger things to be concerned with in this day and age, so why is a hateful "Christian" church praising God for deaths because of me? Why is an organization that shapes the lives of young men slowly coming to terms with letting a young man in that may be different? Why have others judged me harshly yet forgotten - they are not the judge?
Organized religion, and those that lean on it for support because they are afraid (my word, not theirs), are potentially the worst combination. Bullying a LGBT youth is always going to be acceptable,,,until the church realizes they are the ultimate bully. Organized religion today doesn't spread the gospel of Christ, but the gospel of self. A gay man (me), that knows more about the Bible than most ministers, is a bigger threat to them than a non-believer. And so to cast me out, they highlight my sin.
I know a few things they don't though. God, whomever he, she or it ends up being, made me like this. Honest. I've chosen to be happy, to be myself. I didn't have to but I did. I know I am so lucky to have a family that has continued to love me. To support me. And I know there are many out there that aren't so lucky. My hope, my dream, is that slowly, one person at a time, the message gets out - I (we) are just like you. We (I) want to love the person our heart leads us to. Happiness is the ultimate goal. And I know my favorite book of the Bible still is Ephesians. I don't know why. I like it though.
Where is my faith today? That's another blog, meant for another time/place. But where I am today wasn't shaped by me being gay, but it was shaped by me loving another man.
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