That red box...

Today the Supreme Court heard arguments for/against California's Prop 8; tomorrow it'll be the Defense of Marriage Act.  In solidarity/support, the red equal sign has been appearing on profiles and hopefully more will add it.  But I thought I'd write a different stance on it and say what it means to me...

<deep thoughts, by me>

I put the red box on my page to show I'm not less than. I'm not less than straight family and friends that have had the chance to go through their weddings and spend their lives with the partner they love most.  I've been told and heard from churches and those that don't know me (even some that do), that I am less than worthy.  Worthy of what though?  Was I born this way or did I choose to live this way?  The answer, quite frankly, is both.  My earliest memory of being "different" but not knowing what that difference was,,,,I was in first grade.  Six years old roughly.  I had no idea what "gay" meant but I knew I was NOT wired like the other boys.  And I hid that for years, from others but mostly from myself.
This is where the choice to be gay comes in.  I could have kept up that charade, married a woman, maybe had children.  But what would that life have been?  I would have been miserable, she would have been miserable.  My choice was to live my life for me, to be who I was made to be and to share with my family and friends me - being happy.  For anyone that knew me prior to "coming out," I was a shadow of the man I am today.  In simple words, I was miserable.
But the red box is a break from that.  It's me, claiming my right AS A HUMAN and a citizen of this country.  It's me saying that should I be lucky enough to find someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, I can.  And I will.

And tomorrow, I'll tell you what that red box means when I see it on other profiles.....