Moving today from one studio apartment into a one bedroom in the same building. I have not been motivated to move in the least. And it hit me at some point - this is the FIRST move since 1999 that "X" hasn't been involved in any way. Wow. Every other move was with him. There's still a sense of power, control and newness. And I really think that all of those feelings are valid and true.
I cannot NOT acknowledge him in this move. To do so, I think, would be unhealthy. I get that he's been such an active part of my life, even in death, that to move along and ignore/avoid the obvious would make me crazy.
I'm excited for the new place; both the dog and the cat are tepid at best. DC, the cat, has moved with me six times while Baxter, the bulldog, has moved with me three. They freak out when I leave but they are ever so excited when I come back. Even though I'm coming back with my arms full of shit and only want them to get out of my path so I can put it down. =)
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